Jealousy Ridden Eyes
by SoaringHellButterfly
Summary: She loves him, more than anyone, more than Aizen. But she was too late. He had moved on. Two-shot about Toshiro and Momo's relationship and how it changed. Rated T.
1. Momo's Reflection

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Yo! Back with something i've never done before. A double-sided story told in Toshiro and Momo's perspective. Same story, different points of views. This is a two-shot. A story about how the relationship between Momo and Hitsugaya changed over the years since becoming shinigami.

I apologize to all you extreme HitsuHina fans, but this is NOT the place for you if you can't stand HitsuMatsu. I just thought i'd warn you, now is the time to leave if you don't like HitsuMatsu. If you're okay with it, welcome! Of course I know all my usual readers will stay and enjoy. ^^ My usual readers rock!

And once again, Matsumoto VERY briefly played virgin in this story, for reasons written in my other story "Incredible Love". An important note is that the main couple is indeed HitsuMatsu, there is no HitsuHina. In a way, this story could actually be a spin-off from Incredible Love. If you think about it, the two could be connected. I'm not sure really. Enjoy!!!

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_**Jealousy Ridden Eyes**_

**Chapter 1**

Momo's Reflection

I stare into the mirror. Trying to find me in the reflection, but all I see is a strange girl, who looks like me but isn't me at all. The real me would've said something sooner. Would've acted sooner. Would've gotten her feelings and thoughts across. Not waited until it was too late.

_"I love her..." _Those words echo in my ears. They won't leave me alone. And each time I hear them they cause my heart to break into more pieces. They cause the tears to reappear at the corners of my eyes. They cause me to drown in my own sorrow. I thought I had known what I wanted when I became a shinigami, I thought I would go to any lengths to get it. But now I realize that I didn't know what I wanted at all back then. And when I finally did know, it was too late to obtain it.

For he had already been taken.

_"I love her Hinamori..." _Those words reappeared in my ears, and caused a small sob to escape me. I was grateful to be alone at this time, I wouldn't want to cause a panic on a day like this. Though some part of me in the back of my mind wished for something - anything - to ruin the event about to take place. The rest of me hated that part for thinking such cruel thoughts. It was my own fault this happened anyway.

I don't see why they asked me to be a bridesmaid, I was against this the whole time, and still am. I know I should be happy at a wedding, but I can't muster up the strength to even smile about this. Maybe I was just being selfish because it wasn't _me_ as _his_ bride. The bride he's stuck with doesn't deserve a man as great as him. It should've been _me _as his bride! He should've found someone better. Why _her _of all people? What could he possibly see in _her_?!

She was never supposed to take that spot in his heart that was meant for _me_. She was just his subordinate, a person meant to take orders and watch his back in battle. She was never meant to be more than that! She's nothing but a lazy, drunk, selfish, thieving whore!

A gasp escaped my lips as I realized what I was saying. I was being unfair, and completely selfish, in saying all those things about her. I know she's not really a whore, quite the opposite. At times she can be selfish, and at times she can be lazy, and she does tend to get drunk a lot... But I know there's more good things than bad. She's beautiful, smart, funny, she fights for what she believes, she's helpful... The list can go on. She's everything I'm not...

That's just the kind of person Rangiku-chan is... And I'm sure that's what Toshiro loves about her...

Yes, today is Rangiku and Toshiro's wedding. And I get the honor of being a bridesmaid. Nanao-san is the maid of honor, while me, Inoue-san, Kuchiki-san, and Kotetsu-san are the regular bridesmaids. They were in here just a little while ago, all looking beautiful. We all wore the same dress except for Nanao-san, hers was yellow instead of pink like ours. I've never been one to wear pink, but Tobiume loves it, she said it looked good on me.

But Rangiku-chan, she was the most beautiful. Of course she's supposed to be. It would be an insult if the maids were prettier than the bride. But I couldn't help but stare as Inoue-san and Nanao-san helped her get dressed earlier. She looked so happy as she stared at herself in the mirror. Part of me couldn't help but think of this exact same scenario, the only difference is it would be me in Rangiku-chan's place.

No one else in this room knew what I was feeling, they were all concentrating on the wedding and getting the bride ready. Nobody once noticed my hurt-filled eyes, or the way I'd cry a few tears as I remembered that Toshiro would be lost to me forever after today. And that he'd permanently belong to her. I was almost invisible. The only person who understood my feelings... was Toshiro himself. He knew because I had confronted him about this, not so long ago, when they had first gotten engaged...

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_I went to his office one night. It was only yesterday that he proposed to her. How could he do this to me?! How could he tie himself down to another woman like that?! I thought he would wait for me! How could he betray me?! I felt the tears in my eyes as I stormed to his office. I opened the door and stomped in, slamming in shut once I was inside._

_Just as I thought, he was at his desk, and no Matsumoto in sight. His head snapped up as I made my entrance. _

_"Hinamori, what're you doing here at this hour? What's wrong?" "How could you?!" I demanded, ignoring his question. He raised a brow. "How could I? Did I commit some crime I don't remember doing?" He asked. "Don't play dumb! How could you propose to her?!" He stared at me before sighing. _

_"It's easy, I got a ring, got down on one knee and said 'Will you marry me?'" "Not HOW you proposed! How could you do this to me?!" "I don't see how my engagement with Rangiku effects you Hinamori." "Of course it effects me! I thought you loved me!" "I do love you. You're like a sister to me." Those words hit me hard, was that all I was to him now? _

_"What exactly is the problem?" He asked. "The problem? You want to know the problem?! You're getting married!" I shouted, not caring who heard me outside. "And just how is that a problem? I thought you would be happy for me." He said, his tone changing from calm, to rising anger. "I would be happy for you, if you had chosen a better person to be your wife!" That did it, he stood abruptly from his chair an pounded his fists onto the desk, several papers slipping off and flinging in all directions._

_"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" He demanded angrily. I did not falter. I stood my ground. "It means out of all the women in the Seireitei, why did you pick her?! She's probably using you!" __"Don't go there Momo." He warned. But I kept going. "How can you love someone like her? She's probably had every man in Soul Society in her bed at least once-" "SHUT UP DAMMIT!!!" I flinched and my teary eyes widened at the furosity of his shout. _

_"You don't know a DAMN thing about Rangiku! She's not some filthy whore! For your information I am the only man who's been in her bed!" My breath caught in my throat, and his hands clenched into tight fists. I could see in his eyes he did not regret what he just said. He'd look almost smug if not for the angry expression. I could not believe what I'd heard though, he means to tell me that, after only five months, he and she had..._

_"Don't you dare talk about her that way. Those rumors were started by jealous fools that got shot down." He said, bitterness in his voice. I had never thought he'd actually direct that tone towards me. "How do you know for sure?" I demanded, for all he knew she was lying. "What about Ichimaru Gi-" "Don't you DARE say that bastard's name in my office!" Again, I flinched. _

_"That fox-faced bastard never touched her, and never will." He vowed, more to himself than to me. I sniffled. "I... I just want to know why you didn't wait for me... Why you abandoned me..." I whispered, tears spilling faster than ever. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair._

_"Hinamori, I _did _wait for you. Longer than I should have actually." My eyes widened, more tears came. "I was there for you when you needed someone. I had helped you get back on your feet. But I never abandoned you. I simply tried to teach you how to walk again. But you still believed in Aizen, and I knew that if I waited for you any longer, you'd begin to think I was his replacement." "No!" I cried. "I would never do that! I love you! And I know you love me too!" I insisted, hoping, praying actually, that my confession had gotten across to him. He sighed again. _

_"Maybe once upon a time, a long time ago. But the way I saw it, no one but Aizen would do. And I didn't want to be his replacement." "You wouldn't have been! I swear I'm over him! Please believe me! Shiro I truly love you!" I cried harder, the feeling of defeat lurched in my chest. _

_"Hinamori, I really do appreciate it. Really, I do... But I can't return that love. If you had said that about six months ago, I would've immediately returned them without hesitation. But I'm in love with Rangiku now, and she's the one I want. I still love you of course, as a sister." He said, softly this time, not in the serious tone he had used until now. A sob escaped me._

_"How can you be so sure she even really loves you? What if she's just using you to replace Ichi-"__ "I LOVE HER!!!" Silence filled the room after that outburst. I was frozen where I stood.  
_

_"I love her Hinamori... And she loves me... And nothing or no one is going to change my mind. Not even you." I felt myself backing away from him, until my back hit the door, and with blinding speed I opened it and ran away...  
_

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Even after hearing all those things from him, I'm still here. Because he asked me to be. He had asked me when I went back the next morning before Rangiku-chan got there, and apologized. I looked into the mirror once again. This time I really did see me, not a strange girl who looked like me. I know, because the real me is weak, and cries over everything. Becomes a big baby when she doesn't get what she wants. The look in my eyes was so clear, my eyes were jealousy-ridden.

Because the simple fact is that I'm jealous of Rangiku-chan...

She helped him get back on his feet whenever he fell. She was there to comfort him when he tried to hide his sadness. She was always there. Always. It was all it took to make Toshiro fall in love with her. And, to me, who couldn't love him back?

It wasn't fair though. I couldn't be blamed for my state of mind, could I? I wasn't able to be there for him like she was, I needed him to be there for me. But that's where he thought he had become Aizen-Taicho's replacement... And now he's moved on. And I was the only one suffering, I was the only one who didn't get a happily ever after...

Long ago, when I entered the academy, I had been so sure of what I wanted. I had wanted nothing more than to serve under Aizen-Taicho, and earn his praises and, possibly someday, his love. I had worked so hard, done so much... Yet it was all for nothing. I never got the praise I had wanted, never got the love I yearned to experience. Never got the man I thought I had loved with all my soul. I couldn't think straight after waking up in 4th, and learning that I was in recovery from the wound inflicted on me by my own Taicho's zanpakuto. My mind couldn't take the new situation.

For days I grieved over the loss of my Taicho, wishing all the while that this was just a nightmare and soon I'd wake up. But I never woke up, I still lived in that nightmare. The idea of Aizen-Taicho betraying the Soul Society just wouldn't process in my weak, fragile mind.

I was blinded by the glorious illusion I saw, instead of seeing the reality that was thrust into me like Taicho's blade. I slowly became coherent enough to think more properly, and look at the situation that had became while I was unconscious. I learned that I was a fool for believing those pretty lies Taicho had told me. And I was an utter idiot for believing the lie he told me about Toshiro...

Toshiro... He was always there for me before the betrayal. He had been the crutch that helped me stand back on my feet. He slowly became everything Aizen-Taicho was to me and more. However I had refused to believe such things, because my heart still yearned for Aizen-Taicho.

Shiro had always been good to me, and always protected me. But I never had the mental capacity to realize that he did those things for me because he cared for me. More than I had realized. I had always seen him as my kid brother, and I had always assumed he looked at me like his big sister. I know now that I was once again blind. But this time I was blinded by my own foolishness and naive nature. I was completely oblivious to the love that he felt for me, and unconsciously rejected him.

Without knowing it, I had thrown away something I'd found to be what I had really wanted for all these years. But it was too late by the time I realized it.

The day I found out that I loved him, I was so happy. The happiest I'd been since I had learned my Taicho was alive, before he... Almost killed me... I was really happy, memories of Toshiro and our childhood together flooded my mind as I ran to tell him my feelings. Who better than Shiro-chan to be my love?

I reached his office and was about to go in, before I saw them...

Through the crack in the door, I saw him kiss _her_. Her who was supposed to be nothing more to him than a close friend. A fukutaicho.

Later that day, word spread and it became official. They were in love, and were a couple now. I was heart broken. I couldn't believe this happened to me. I had finally understood what it was I wanted, finally found what was lost in my heart, buried so deep I couldn't see it. And then, by some mad, sick twist of fate, he had unconsciously rejected me. Just like I did to him.

For a while, I believed I was getting what I deserved for trying to kill him, that time when I was stupid and blind. I thought to myself, "They're too different, it won't last long. They'll break up within a month." Boy was I wrong...

Over the course of _four _months, I watched from the shadows. Watched as they held hands when they walked together. Watched as they went to dinner together almost every night. Watched as they shared passionate kisses, and not even caring who saw them. Watched as he was slowly drifting further and further away from my grasp.

Until he was completely out of my reach.

The moment I heard he had actually proposed to her, after only five months, I knew that it was too late. I had been too late. I had waited too long to tell him my feelings, I had waited too long... If I hadn't been stupid and blind and realized that I loved him sooner, this wouldn't be happening. Well, it would, but _I _would be the bride. I just couldn't believe how stupid I could really be. And now he was marrying her in five minutes, and would remain out of my reach forever. I felt an odd sense of deja vu.

"Hinamori-chan." My thoughts stopped when Ise-san's voice reached my ears. I turned to face her. "It's time, everyone's ready. Come on." I nodded and she walked on ahead. I sighed heavily. Before grabbing my bouquet, I took one last look at my reflection, before turning my back on it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The doors were opened and the flower girls, Nel and Yachiru, were the first to go. Lucky me to be at the front of the line of bridesmaids, I wished I was last, instead of Ise-san. Because I knew that if I was in the back, I'd be right In front of Rangiku. And I can pretend, even for a moment, that the smile I knew he'd direct towards her would be for me...

I was finally given the cue and I took the first step, automatically regretting the day I agreed to be a bridesmaid. My eyes locked onto him when I entered, the line following close behind. I just concentrated on him as I walked down the aisle. His eyes found me, and he did smile. And a magic warmth filled me. I took a last glance before taking my place by the alter. Then the music changed.

And then _she_ came in.

I saw him smile wider as he saw her. His eyes showed the loving glow that wasn't there when he had smiled at me. The warm feeling disappeared completely. And suddenly I felt alone. The minute she stepped in the room, everyone, especially Shiro, smiled. She had that much power, to fill an entire room with smiles.

I stood there, my mind drifting off into space as the ceremony began. Why had I agreed to be here again? I was against this from the very beginning. Why was I here to witness my worst nightmare come true? I suddenly remembered why.

Because _he_ had asked me to...

Even after all the bad things I said to him, all the bad things I said about her, he still asked me to be apart of it. And I suddenly felt better at the fact that he still cared and still loved me. Maybe not the way I wanted, but I suppose I should be grateful. He just wanted me to witness him being happy. Happier than he's been in a long time...

My ears started working again and my heart nearly stopped when I heard, "You may now kiss the bride". My eyes, whether I wanted them to or not, flashed to them. Just in time to see him dip her and kiss her deeply. Erupting cheers from the crowd. I envied her. I knew that this was only the beginning of my pain, and I had no choice but to bear it. Never shall I know what it's like to be in her shoes. Never shall I receive the love and looks he gives her. Because he is hers now, never to be mine.

And forever I shall watch... with jealousy-ridden eyes...

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See? What'd i tell you? No HitsuHina. Personally that's the way I like it. But i do apologize to the HitsuHina fans that read this. Anyway, next time is the story from Toshiro's perspective. If i had spelling or grammar errors i apologize, but the keyboard has been sticking lately. Damn thing. *Kicks computer* OW!!! Until next time! Keep reading and reviewing! ^~ (That's a wink in case you don't know emoticons. Lol)

LATERZ!!! SoaringHellButterfly.

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	2. Toshiro's Revision

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Yo! Back with the second and final chapter of this story. Once again, HitsuHina fans may not approve, you were warned. I do apologize, also, if the characters seem OOC at all. Anyway, this time we go to Toshiro's perspective. His real thoughts about what went on between himself and Momo. And also why he turned to Rangiku.

I want to thank those who reviewed last chapter, you rock! And i'm actually surprised at myself, i actually updated on time. Now if only i could do that with Gifts Of Love (Which by the way is going to be updated very soon). Enjoy!!!

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_** Jealousy Ridden Eyes  
**_

** Chapter 2  
**

Toshiro's Revision

I carefully fixed my tie, the damn thing got on my nerves. I kept tying it wrong, for some reason my fingers weren't listening to my commands and fiddling as they pleased. I guess I was nervous, more nervous than I cared to admit. Or maybe it was because my mind was concentrating on other things, instead of paying attention to what I was doing. But I wouldn't let it interfere with my good mood.

I was finally going to get to marry _her_ today.

Finally, after willing myself to take my mind off the blessed event about to take place, I managed to get the tie around my neck fastened. I looked at myself in the mirror. Not bad if I do say so myself. I chuckled softly, Rangiku's personality was starting to rub off on me. I wondered what else had rubbed off on me from dating that wondrous woman.

Seeing as I was ready, I decided to just sit and wait for everyone else. I suppose I was rushing myself when dressing. I know for a fact it'll be a little bit before Rangiku's even close to ready. She had once explained to me precisely what took women so long to get ready.

_"You have to get your hair made perfectly. Then you gotta apply the right amount of make-up and make she it matches the colors of your outfit. Women have to look absolutely perfect for their men!" _I snorted at the thought. She didn't have to spend five hours in the mirror to look perfect, when she was _already_ perfect to begin with. I had tried explaining this to her but she said I was just being sweet but silly.

Now that I was thinking about it, it made me wonder how I ended up falling in love with this woman. Not only that, but marrying her. Six months ago the very thought would've either made me cringe, or laugh uncontrollably. The very idea would've seemed so ridiculous and unthinkable to myself.

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_I had stayed late at the office one night. There was still some paperwork that I wanted to get a head start on, so I could spend more time with my new fiance. I had let her go home early so she could rest, last night was a big night and she didn't sleep much last night or today. Reasons for her not sleeping will not be given. Except she wanted to plan the wedding already. I wasn't going to let her plan the wedding by herself, if I did, she'd have everything in pink. I was just about to finish signing the last paper, when Hinamori burst into my office. There were tears in her eyes, so instantly I was on alert.  
_

_"Hinamori, what're you doing here at this hour? What's wrong?" "How could you?!" She suddenly growled, ignoring my questions. I looked at her inquisitively. "How could I? Did I commit some crime I don't remember doing?" I asked. _

_"Don't play dumb! How could you propose to her?!" I gave her an odd look before sighing. I had a feeling she'd be upset about this for some reason. _

_"It's easy, I got a ring, got down on one knee and said 'Will you marry me?'" "Not HOW you proposed! How could you do this to me?!" "I don't see how my engagement with Rangiku effects you Hinamori." "Of course it effects me! I thought you loved me!" "I do love you. You're like a sister to me." Her face suddenly went from angry to shocked for a split second. Why she had that look, I had no idea. _

_"What exactly is the problem?" I asked. "The problem? You want to know the problem?! You're getting married!" She shouted. _

_"And just how is that a problem? I thought you would be happy for me." I said skeptically, my mood was going from calm to angry fast. What the hell was her problem?! Why was she so upset that I was getting married? I expected my childhood friend to at least congratulate me or something, not a yelling session._

_ "I would be happy for you, if you had chosen a better person to be your wife!" Quickly I shot up, and my fist crashed own to the desk, I could vaguely hear some kind of cracking noise. Papers from my completed pile of paperpwork scattered to the floor.  
_

_"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I demanded, absolutely offended by that comment. She didn't seem scared at all. "It means out of all the women in the Seireitei, why did you pick her?! She's probably using you!" __"Don't go there Momo." I warned. But for some reason she just kept that mouth moving._

_ "How can you love someone like her? She's probably had every man in Soul Society in her bed at least once-" "SHUT UP DAMMIT!!!" I screamed. "You don't know a DAMN thing about Rangiku! She's not some filthy whore! For your information I am the only man who's been in her bed!" I snarled through clenched teeth, my hands clenched into fists so tight my knuckle turned white. I couldn't believe she'd say that about Rangiku! She doesn't know her like I do! She had no damn right to sy that. I warned her not to go there.  
_

_"Don't you dare talk about her that way. Those rumors were started by jealous fools that got shot down." I continue bitterly. Never in all my years of living in the Soul Society, did I ever think I'd yell at Hinamori like this. "How do you know for sure?" She asked, causing me to scowl darkly at her. "What about Ichimaru Gi-" "Don't you DARE say that bastard's name in my office!" I shouted, and this time I saw her jump slightly.  
_

_"That fox-faced bastard never touched her, and never will." My eyes fell to my hands, still clenched tightly. There was no way I'd ever let him touch her. Not after the way he hurt her. I realized what I just said was a vow more to myself than to Hinamori. _

_"I... I just want to know why you didn't wait for me... Why you abandoned me..." I heard whisper, and I saw something I really hated to see anyone do. Cry. I let out a sigh and ran a hand though my hair, I hated seeing her cry. But I decided to clue her in on the truth.  
_

_"Hinamori, I _did _wait for you. Longer than I should have actually." I paused for a small moment when she went stiff. "I was there for you when you needed someone. I had helped you get back on your feet. But I never abandoned you. I simply tried to teach you how to walk again. But you still believed in Aizen, and I knew that if I waited for you any longer, you'd begin to think I was his replacement." "No!" She cried. I gave her a disbelieving look._

_ "I would never do that! I love you! And I know you love me too!" My eyes slightly widened at her confession. I sighed again. _

_"Maybe once upon a time, a long time ago. But the way I saw it, no one but Aizen would do. And I didn't want to be his replacement." "You wouldn't have been! I swear I'm over him! Please believe me! Shiro I truly love you!" It hurt my ears to hear her sobbing. I hated seeing her like this. But she needs to know. _

_"Hinamori, I really do appreciate it. Really, I do... But I can't return that love. If you had said that about six months ago, I would've immediately returned them without hesitation. But I'm in love with Rangiku now, and she's the one I want. I still love you of course, as a sister." I said softly, the anger leaving me slowly until I was back at the calm state I was before.  
_

_"How can you be so sure she even really loves you? What if she's just using you to replace Ichi-"__ "I LOVE HER!!!" I roared. Everything went silent for what felt like a long time. She just seemed to lose her words because of my outburst. I continued on, telling her what she might've been too scared to hear.  
_

_"I love her Hinamori... And she loves me... And nothing or no one is going to change my mind. Not even you." I watched as she backed away from me, and then ran out of the office without another word._

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

She apologized of course. The next morning before Rangiku came in. I was happy she came back, because I didn't want our friendship to end because of that fight. I forgave her of course, after making her promise never to say such things about my bride again. She looked sad though, almost broken. So I asked her something to try and cheer her up, even if it was only a little.

I asked her to be Rangiku's bridesmaid.

She was shocked at first, but eventually she smiled and accepted my request. That made me happy. I didn't think it would be right if my best friend wasn't as my own wedding. I wanted her to be there. I couldn't cut her out of the picture, she was still family to me. But I wondered if that would actually hurt her more than help her. Being just family.

She had confessed to me after all, said she loved me. And she was actually, in a way, begging me to love her back. When in reality I had loved her like that. Loved her like no other at one time. Would've gone to the ends of the Earth and back around again for her. But I soon learned that it wasn't really what I had really wanted. Soon learned that I could not truly love her that way...

When we were kids, we were almost inseparable. Sure we teased each other and called each other names (Which she really started with that damn nickname) but it was all in good fun. It was our weird way of expressing love, I suppose. When she left for the academy, my attitude changed. I became bitter and said I'd never go to a shinigami school. I was just mad because she was leaving because of that place, and being the ignorant child I was, I took my anger out on both her and the school.

She would visit us a lot of course, and I'd be really happy though I'd hide it with my icy attitude that I gained from someplace. She'd tell us about her classes and what she was learning, and how she'd met a man named Aizen. And of course, what really got me steamed, was how she talked about him so much and with a passion that drove me insane. I didn't know the man and already I hated him.

I know now that I acted the way I did because of the ridiculous, childish crush I had on Hinamori.

She was unaware of it, completely engrossed in her own little crush. A crush on the man that eventually caused so much tragedy to happen in Soul Society. But we were all unaware of such a thing at the time. Unaware that a plot was being brewed and poor Hinamori was being used in that wicked plot. She had no idea, she was innocent, completely innocent. And she suffered for her admiration of Aizen, when that day happened. The day Aizen pierced his own subordinate with his zanpakuto, and put her in a coma for God knows how long.

When I visited her, I had vowed never to let him hurt her again. That I'd protect her. I blamed myself for her recent tragic accident. I hadn't realized sooner that Aizen was planning something, and I blamed myself for Hinamori getting hurt so badly.

When she finally woke up, I thought I could finally make up for the trouble and pain I caused her. So I helped her.

I first started by doing little things. I visited her more often than I used to. I would take her to lunch every once in a while. I would help her with paperwork. I would do things to take her mind off the loss of the man she had once claimed to love. And every time I saw her smile like she used to, I'd feel happy inside.

Over time, something built up inside me and I came to a conclusion. I was simply in love with her.

Spending all that time with her, helping her return to the reality she refused to believe when she woke up. It just awakened something in me. So I was even more bound and determined to make sure she got better, and eventually, confess my feelings. I waited patiently, for her, helping her back on her feet all the while. I would wait, just for her. Wait for the day when I could tell her and be with her. Soon she finally was able to stand up.

But I was rejected.

I never even told her, I never even got the chance to show or tell her my feelings. She had a mental breakdown. I suppose it was bound to happen since she had held it in for quite some time. And when it did finally happen, she wasn't willing to let me help her. She said she missed Aizen and didnt know if she could ever give her heart to another again. That was enough to tell me she didn't care for me. And I was... Well, heartbroken I guess you could say.

I couldn't stay with her after that. I couldn't wait anymore, because I knew it was pointless to wait for something inevitable. Not to mention if I had stayed, she would get the idea that I was that bastard's replacement. The last thing I would ever want to be. I had done what I had intended to do, get her back up onto her feet. So really, what was the point in staying with her? It nearly killed me but I left her alone after that. I found myself in a bit of a daze though. I wasn't attentive to things like I usually was. I almost felt like I was going into a depression. I should have expected something like that to happen, it shouldn't have gotten to me like that.

And then that's where _she _came in.

She had been watching me, the whole time. From the time I had begun to help Hinamori, to my upsetting moods in the office and division. Matsumoto had kept quiet, allowing herself to gather more observations. I was surprised I hadn't noticed her watchful eyes.

One day, she came to me and confronted me. Demanding what happened between me and Hinamori. It shouldn't have surprised me that she knew the reason for my mood, she was very good at that. She knew me well. I trusted her dearly, so much so I trusted her with my life. So I told her...

And she didn't give me pity, she didn't try to make light of the situation, she didn't even tease when I admitted my feelings toward Hinamori. She just listened as I told her everything. And when I was done she enveloped me in a soft hug, a hug I didn't even fight. I enjoyed it actually. It was comforting, and it was her way of telling me she understood. And then she told me how I was never one to blame for Hinamori's unfortunate incident with Aizen. She told me how everyone was a victim and that I shouldn't beat myself up. And for the first time in a long while, I smiled.

So when I wasn't watching Hinamori from afar, I spent quite a lot of time with Matsumoto. We had a lot of fun, and I learned things about her that I never thought possible. Like how she collects traditional kimonos, or how she likes to practice the art of Japanese dance in her spare time. It explained why she was so graceful, on and off the battlefield. I learned about her, and she learned about me. She was the warm steady arms I could lean into and know that everything would be okay. The arms I could take comfort in.

I know now that it was in fact Matsumoto that had brought me back to the real world. She was the one that comforted me, and was always there when I needed her. Always. And eventually, my feelings changed altogether.

And that day, that fateful day, I learned truly what it was I had been feeling, what I had been wanting. The simple fact was it was her I wanted, her I loved. The love I felt for Hinamori wasn't like this. This was new, this was more intense, this was making me want to do things I would never do for just anyone. The love I felt for Hinamori, was just the love for a sister all along.

And I told all this to Matsumoto herself. And she was indeed shocked at my confession. But she smiled and without a moments hesitation I kissed her.

Later it had become official, and for the first time in my life, I truly felt like the happiest and luckiest guy in the entire world. She was the warmth that instantly melted the thick ice shield around my heart. The same ice that was melted over time by Hinamori, only to be refrozen after she broke it. I was amazed at how much faster Rangiku got into my heart.

Over the course of five months, we grew closer than ever before. My only wish was that she was happy. And I was happy at how easy it was to be with her and just be myself. I didn't have to work hard at all to keep her happy like I had with Hinamori. When I was Hinamori, I had to treat her with great care and protect her from any possible set-offs that could cause a mental breakdown. With Rangiku, I could just relax and enjoy being with her. She brightened my day and every time she said "I love you" my heart raced.

And I could tell she meant it when she said she loved me. Th sincerity in her eyes and features, always reassuring me that this was real and she wouldn't go away. Like Ichimaru had always done to her. In fact she had told me a lot about the relationship between her and Ichimaru. Things that shocked me. I had always thought they were a couple. Rangiku told me otherwise. We were just sitting in her place that night.

_"He was always leaving without a word. Never saying where he was going, staying gone for days, weeks, months at a time even. When he was actually around, he would spend his time gaining strength. He had his own goal, and I obviously wasn't part of it. He was playful with affection I'll admit, but he never actually acted intimate with me. And when he did, which was only a little, it felt wrong to me. Like kissing a brother. Yuck. Ha ha. We never actually had a real relationship. We were just... Well now I guess I can say acquaintances. I never really _knew_ him and still don't. And I'd never let a man I don't know into my bed."_

That was when I'd realized that it was very easy to judge a book by it's cover. I had been right in judging Ichimaru, but wrong in judging Rangiku. I couldn't believe myself for thinking she had actually _been_ with Ichimaru, or other men for that matter. She denied ever sleeping with men that claimed to have been with her. She said that they were pathetic fools that were upset for getting shot down, she wouldn't shack up with such disgusting pigs for all the free sake in the world. Her words not mine.

That same night, where I had learned many new things about her, was the same night I lost my virginity.

It wasn't planned, but it wasn't regretted either. She was just as inexperienced as me. We took everything slow and it was everything I had imagined and more. I had read books with stuff like this in there, so I knew what I was dealing with. But reading about it and actually doing it were two totally different things.

She didn't tease me though. She had many opportunities to do it too. I was fumbling, blushing, and clumsy at first. But she didn't laugh or tease because she was the same way. And seeing her for the first time was a sight permanently implanted into my mind. She was so beautiful, and soft that it drove me crazy. But even so, I was gentle with her. I'll forget that night for as long as I live, the night I felt everything that was Matsumoto Rangiku.

The next morning I awoke to the wonderful feeling of her delicate, soft hands tracing little patterns on my skin. For once she was awake before me. I swear, she looks beautiful in any kind of light. Moonlight, morning sunlightl, it always just made her more gorgeous.

The feeling of her head on my chest, her gentle fingers dancing on my skin, the sated feeling all throughout my body. They were all so wonderful and great that I just felt complete. And the best part was that I could really claim her as mine. The mark I made on her neck was proof of that.

So I couldn't contain it any longer that morning and proposed to her.

She was certainly surprised, even asked if I was kidding. But she remembered my sense of humor was not up to speed, especially with this kind of joke. In truth, I wondered myself if I was just kidding. I was about to take it back when she actually accepted. And I _knew_ that I was the happiest and luckiest man in the world.

Now I sit here, just waiting for the time when I can finally call her my wife. I can't help but wonder what she'll look like. I already know she'll be beautiful, it's obvious. I can't wait to see her. I'm sure Hinamori will be very pretty too.

"Hitsugaya-taicho." I turned to see Ukitake at the door. "She's ready when you are." I smiled and stood up. It was finally time. I was out the door before Ukitake even noticed I was gone.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I waited for only a few seconds at the alter before the doors were opened. The first thing I saw was Kusajishi and the little arrancar known as Nel, dancing in as the flower girls. I'll take a wild guess and say Rangiku picked out those dresses. I had to hold in my laughter as they flung flower petals at people, it was funny I had to admit.

The next to come in was the bridesmaids. Hinamori leading them. I had to give it to whoever designed those dresses, they made them all look beautiful. Hinamori especially. Pink certainly did look good on her, I never saw why she didn't wear much. Maybe she didn't like it, opposed to Rangiku who _loved_ it. Her eyes locked onto me and I smiled at her. She smiled as she walked up the aisle. She looked away so she could take her place by the alter. I heard some of the audience gasp and my eyes flashed to the door just in time to see _her _come in.

I felt my whole body float when she came into my sight and my smile widened. I've been waiting all day to see her, and now that I can, I just want to stride over there and just take her away from this place. But I would have to wait until after we're pronounced man and wife. I could tell by her expression she knew what I was thinking. I was going to hear about it later, I'm sure.

I held out my hand and she took it and joined my side at the alter. I wasn't really paying attention when the ceremony started. I just concentrated on her. I had been right to assume that she would be beautiful, but the word wasn't even close enough to describe the way she looked. There had to be a stronger word somewhere. My eyes were drawn to her pink lips, glossy and sweet. I was tempted to kiss her before I was told to, and came close to doing so before her smiled widened and she shook her head slightly. Telling me to wait.

I wasn't as out of it as I thought because my lips automatically said "I do" without my brain registering it first. This was very unlike me to be so... brain-dead. But I wasn't so brain-dead when I was finally given the okay to kiss my bride. Without anymore hesitation I dipped her and kissed her with all my might. I didn't let the cheers or wolf-whistles get to me, I was just too happy. She was now _permanently_ mine.

Later at the reception, I didn't let go of my new wife's hand for a second. Not even when Kyouraku gave me an unnecessary hug. Imagine Rangiku's hugs, only ten times worse, Rangiku just couldn't stop laughing. Truth be told I was just waiting for the day to be over so that we could skip to the wedding night, where I could just be alone with my wife. I could tell she was thinking the same thing.

I noticed Hinamori was sitting at a table, with Kira. I watched them and noticed that he must've said something funny because Hinamori laughed. A peeling laugh that made it to my ears, and I was on the other side of the room. The smile on her face was brighter than I've seen it in a long time. I smiled too. Maybe Kira would be the man to finally hold and take care of her heart, like me, and Aizen, couldn't.

And maybe then, she would stop looking at me with jealousy-ridden eyes.

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And that's the story. Once again i apologize to HitsuHina fans. I'd appreciate it if you kept your flames to yourself. Whew, you know it's kinda hard to do POV's of men, seeing as i'm a woman. Also I LOVE Nel and Yachiru, I feel if they were to meet they would be best friends. Their teamed hyper activeness would scare the shit out of Soul Society. Lol. I'm aware the last part, the reception part, was not in Hinamori's chapter. But i wanted to express the jealousy and sadness in her chapter, and the possible hope in Toshiro's. I think i did well, do you? Keep reading and reviewing you guys! Love ya! Until next time!

LATERZ!!! SoaringHellButterfly.

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